The Tinker Bell Post

“What is it? Why am I so dissatisfied?  My life is pretty good by what everyone tells me, so why am I so unhappy?”

Does this sound familiar?  I am making a huge leap here, but that certainly is where I came from.  Well, folks, I am here to tell you that inside, whether or not we acknowledge them, there are flitting little thoughts about things we want to experience that drive us hard, no matter how hidden we may think they are.

The problem is that in MOST cases, the people who are telling you your life is good are ALSO commenting on those flitting little thoughts, those images that we have privately when we think of physical pleasure (even though many of them came to visit us FAR before we began to touch ourselves), The comments come rushing.  “Hey, THAT f***ing S**t is WRONG.” “It is against God’s Law.” “What would your parents think?” “Even if they say they want it, it hurts your loved one.”

We look at ourselves from the outside in the position of some societal parent in the courtroom of an angry god.  The prosecutor comes at us, the accused, in front of a jury made up of our parents, Sunday school teachers and maiden aunts, all looking at us over their glasses with scorn and contempt.  “If THIS is what you LIKE, if THIS becomes acceptable then…”  Oh I don’t know, society in general will fall into the abyss of war and damnation and no one will ever eat ice cream again.

Well, grow up, kids. If those little flitting thoughts (images of Tinkerbell float by) are STILL THERE, then it is time that you acknowledge that they are part of you, part of what makes you who you are, and absolutely time that you come to terms with it and begin to LIKE who you are.

Now before you go jumping off the cliff into personal anarchy and uncaring concentration on narcissistic pleasure, what you want is going to be far more pleasurable if your partner wants it too. If that is not a care of yours, I advise you strongly to seek therapy.

It is time, I think, to explore ourselves. To look honestly at who we are and accept what we want.  We should enter onto the path to get those things that we have consistently thought about.  (Oooo, Tinkerbell is suddenly showing teeth and some cleavage.)  We are NOT going to get it if we cannot be ok with it.  Guilt is a killer, guys.  Think of it, there have been moments, hopefully in each of our lives when someone said, “OH, yea, me TOO!”  What a release.  Well, say it to yourselves.  Be OK with who you are.  Ask for what you want.  No other way to get it.  Wake up and smell the pixie dust.

The Eroticist

3 Comments

  1. I too am at the point in my life when i am dusting off the pixie dust and making my own decisions about what i want the rest of my life to be about and with whom. I believe that we are all on some point on this spectrum except for that some of us are more aware and more conscious decisions about who we are and what we are ACTUALLY in REALITY doing with our souls and the time we have left here to explore our conscious reality of what this body of ours is– really…what are those sensations really saying to me about myself…..maybe alot….maybe nothing at all….
    but there is so much to explore…and so many ways to explore it….i have been hard wired by my being bipolar to explore it sexually. That has always been who I know myself to be….a hypersexual woman who loves to live in the sexual arena. Life would not be worth it to me otherwise……some may think that sad but i find it exhilarating.
    It took a FUCKING long time and lots of therapy to wake myself up to the
    notion that I am ok and i CAN ask for what I want. Like the quote in the first part of your blog says—Be yourself—everyone else is taken……words of wisdom

    with respect, submissive mollie

  2. PS…. Esther Perel is amazing. I attended a two day conference with her a few years ago and gave all my friends a copy of her book “Mating in Capitivity”
    It changed my life and set me on another path that i never knew existed. She is definitely worth reading. She thinks very much outside the box of capitivity- which is not to be confused with the meaning of the word “capitivity” in the lifestyle.

    with respect, submissivemollie

  3. There is profound truth in this: “what you want is going to be far more pleasurable if your partner wants it too.”

    And this: “If that is not a care of yours, I advise you strongly to seek therapy.” Is sound and wise advice.

    Libby

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back to Top