I want to be NORMAL
With every fiber of my being, I wanted to be normal. I wanted to be accepted. I wanted to be OK. I wanted people to look at me and know me and smile and wave and think, there goes a good guy. I wanted to live a life that is …
Category: Sensuously Sexual
How to please, excite, and draw out the “Hmmmmmmm.”
Infidelity and “Forbidden Sex”
This post comes from a discussion currently going on in a LinkedIn group to which I belong, Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality — SSSS. Yes, even considering my previous post, I do still read it. It began as a debate over a Psych Today article as to whether …
Languages, Listening, Learning and Love
Happy Valentine’s Day. Many years back, before my children were born, I was blessed with a long term acting job as a Kiwi. No, not the fruit, a New Zealander. While I was quite familiar with many forms of British and Australian accents, both upper and lower class, a Kiwi was new …
Terms and Meanings and Transparency
This post began as a reply to a post on FetLife. The question had to do with terms Sensual or Romantic Dominant or Sadist, but the response certainly can be applied to all terms used within a BDSM context, perhaps within a broader context. There is no book, no rules, …
What is it Worth to You?
Dating is a bitch. Hard enough when you are in your teens and twenties. It is next to impossible when you are Sixty Five, or a single Mother, or transgendered, or have desires or needs that are way outside the mainstream. Dating’s a bitch. I have been without a long term partner …
What our Relationships are All About
Knowledge comes to you from many locations if you are open to it. I read a post quite a while back from a gentleman (and I use that word quite purposefully) in Zuid-Holland, Netherlands, an area of the world with which I have no familiarity. But his writing echoed much …
Sexual Outsiders and the Constriction of Shame
Charlie Glickman, one of my favorite Bloggers, has written eloquently on Shame and the distinction between the emotion of shame you feel and the action of shaming others. The distinction is worth some work. I come from a background of deep shaming. It was a tool continually used by my father for many strong and …
Abuse Causes SadoMasochism?
All through my exploration of the BDSM lifestyle, my Dominance, and my sexual Sadism, I have heard well reasoned reports, some from well respected scientific journals, about the causal association between early physical and sexual abuse and a later interest in Sadomasochism. Everyone around me, until I found a community, …
The Balance of Control
I feel I am being repetitive, so assume this is coming from the DRD or Department of Redundancy Department. “It is My Way or the Highway. I am the Dominant here. I make the rules. You submit. I don’t want to hear your opinion.” Well, that makes things easy. You do …
Porn and its effect on our sex practices
I have heard a lot through my life about the dangers and detrimental effects of Porn on our sex lives. I think we all have. I have heard how it humiliates and diminishes women, indeed all adult performers, how it promotes unsafe sexual practices, breaks up relationships, how it changes our core …