“What I think is mental domination..hmm..I think it’s something like the Jedi power. It’s getting to know someone so I know what makes them tick, and can use that to control them, give them orders, and all the rest. I like having people around me cater to my every whim just because I know the exact things to make them do it. By the way you put it, mental domination sounds really hot indeed! I’m very interested. Just the thoughts of having that kind of effect on people make me very excited.”
These were the words of a young person who seriously enjoyed the thought of Mentally Dominating some future partner. I understood their feelings very well. We Dominants are manipulators after all. We take the authority given to us by willing partners and manipulate it to our mutual benefit. Yea, that’s what we do, right? We would never think to take that authority and suggest that a willing person do something detrimental to their well being just to get us off, right? I mean certainly not without informing them and getting their active informed consent, Right?
Right. That is exactly what we have to do.
Because what we have to understand and accept completely is; 1) that this being who we are manipulating, directing, ordering, in order to have them cater to our every whim, is a Human, equal in value in every way to us. They have their wants and desires, needs, all of which must be understood by us not only to manipulate them, train them to please us, but to truly understand what they need as valued human beings, in order to mature, grow, become better, more realized human beings. And 2) that by doing anything less than that is directly detrimental to ourselves, our own ability to become more fully realized human beings.
Be aware, it is far too easy to find those buttons, manipulate and use vulnerable people to get what you want, and as the relationship deteriorates (as it surely will if all you are doing is feeding your own pleasures) then throw them away, you will slowly cease being a Dominant and become an abuser.
I have seen it.
The Eroticist
Thank you. For the past 3 years I have exhausted the English language attempting to express to those I was involved with exactly what you’ve said here so clearly and concisely. It’s really a pretty simple concept, but can be muddied up in any number of ways. As you state, the relationship deteriorated, and in time ended. Your words would mean little to them, but are powerful to me.
Your words touch me. I am honored.
It is disappointing, to say the least, when I see people enter into the lifestyle because they feel it is the easy way to get what they want. It is a way to get what you want, and more. The possibilities are endlessly rewarding. But they are not easy. They require a continuous self examination, a willingness to repeatedly admit mistakes, and to unwaveringly hold to what you believe is right for you and your partner, even in the face of the possible dissolution of that relationship.
My first major step was the hard realization that I must accept my peculiar interests and freely admit them to any prospective partner. It may sound simple, but it involves freely admitting to someone you do not yet know, aspects of your personality which are entwined in a lifetime of shame and self recrimination. Easy? LOL, you try it.
The Eroticist
Brilliantly put…
Thank you, my friend. Such words coming from you are meaningful.
The Eroticist