Sites and Books of Interest (Always In Progress)


To be safe, it is probably best to consider all links to be NSFW.

In a very ironic way, the first site I recommend is one that says it is probably not a good idea to get your sexual information from books or on line.  In an article at the Kinsey Confidential site, Adam Fisher: Ph.D refers to a recient workshop by Barry McCarthy (I know, too many links and they all will take you to the same places) where he says, “the advice you’ll find in popular sex self-help literature is more intimidating than empowering, and most of the information out there (including the Internet!) is not trustworthy.”  So, I begin with caveat emptor!

The next comes from a couple whose talks and discussions have brought me continuous inspiration.  Master Obsidian and slave namaste offer a blog, advice column, and are now branching out into offering some of their talks on video at quite reasonable prices.  They are an excellent example of Dominance and submission within a context of mutual respect and value.

Tiny Nibbles, Violet Blue’s blog.  A site of infinate resource and humorus comentary.  Most importantly it has a wide list of recommended sites itself.

Savage Love, Dan Savage’s Blog.  Highly opinionated commentator on sexual situations.  Sort of an Ann Landers with a bite.  His opinion may not be your opinion, but he is usually right on target.

For the literati among us.  “Founded in 1998, Clean Sheets is a weekly magazine devoted to encouraging and publishing quality erotic fiction, poetry, and art, providing honest information and thoughtful commentary on sexuality, and fostering an ongoing discussion of sexuality in the lives of individuals and in a global society.”

CPS (Coalition for Positive Sexuality)  This is a site aimed particularly for teens with accurate information both in English and Spanish.  Some problems with the site (“What if I’m Gay?” just takes you to the glossary, and the search is just a google search not a search of their site).  But in general it emphasizes education and self respect.

Polyamory:  Dos and Don’ts for Polyamorous Relationships.  Polyamory is a very broad subject with many differing definitions, and I believe strongly that any “Dos and Don’ts” are to be defined by YOU, not any authority who says they know.  (Advise, not Direct, but they seem to understand that.)  But this is a broad discussion and a good place to start your research.

Exploring Intimacy is Dr. Ruth Neustifter’s Blog (Dr. Ruthie) and I have a very difficult time not running a bit with the name “Neustifter”.  She is a highly educated woman, though at times her site seems aimed particularly at reviews of toys.

This page is a collection of Sociological studies showing a lack of psychopathology among Sadomasochistic practitioners.

There exists an international community of people whose interests exclusively  surround spanking.  This site emphasizes some people’s need for being spanked with an emphasis on therapy through corporal means.  I need to express my strong opinion, however, that BDSM practices, particularly Sadomasochistic practices are NOT a substitute for professional therapeutic care.

The Sexperts’ Lounge, a series of articles by various authors but primarially “Mistress Maxxters” on a variety of subjects.  Particularly useful is a series on “Sex for Noobs”.

Cherry TV is moving along again now.  It is a relaxed and accepting site aimed primarily at women.  A good resource.

Sexix:  What you want it to be.  A wide ranging site with articles informative and humorous.  I first got to it through an informative article by my friend Midori.  (There seems to be an issue with the link, the site is located at

Jay Wiseman’s (linked below) argument against Breath Play, a Meticulously researched and scholarly article.  A Must read.

BOOKS and AUTHORS of INTEREST (most of my links are to Amazon because it is easy for me.  It is NOT a specific recommendation to do your shopping through that vendor.)  These books are meant to inform but I repeat my mantra, “There are no rule books“.  Many books will say, this is the way, but there is no way but your way.

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thornes, my first BDSM book.  It is light, full of graphics, informative and amusing.
Any book by Jay Wiseman.  A lawyer and a former Emergency Medical Technician, he knows of what he speaks.  Listen.
Different Loving:  The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission.  It covers a wider variety of subject mater than most and includes the voices and opinions of practitioners.
Almost any book by Robert Rubel.  I have not read them all.
Almost anything by Laura Antoniou, a prolific and emotionally engaging woman of phenominal humor and talent.  A joy to read.  Most are primarily works of fiction but definitely from real life experience.
Books by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton, authors of the famous “Ethical Slut”.
The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren.
Dr. Sprinkle’s Spectacular Sex, a soft, caring, delightful book on expanding your loving from a woman whose experience astounds me.
Opening Up:  A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships.  I have not finished it, but it came highly recommended by someone whose knowledge and experience I trust.
Leading and Supportive Love: The Truth About Dominant and Submissive Relationships by Chris M. Lyon.  A very interesting volumn that takes an expanded view of the D/s relationship and those who choose it.
This will be added to (specially the books, that list is WAY short).  PLEASE, if you have recommendations, send them to [email protected]

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