Sites and Books of Interest (Always In Progress)


To be safe, it is probably best to consider all links to be NSFW.

In a very ironic way, the first site I recommend is one that says it is probably not a good idea to get your sexual information from books or on line.  In an article at the Kinsey Confidential site, Adam Fisher: Ph.D refers to a recient workshop by Barry McCarthy (I checked all the links in 2023 and they laa were 404s) where he says, “the advice you’ll find in popular sex self-help literature is more intimidating than empowering, and most of the information out there (including the Internet!) is not trustworthy.”  So, I begin with that caveat emptor!

The next comes from a couple whose talks and discussions have brought me continuous inspiration.  Master Obsidian and slave namaste offer a blog, advice column, and are now branching out into offering some of their talks on video at quite reasonable prices.  They are an excellent example of Dominance and submission within a context of mutual respect and value.

Tiny Nibbles, Violet Blue’s blog.  A site of infinate resource and humorus comentary.  Most importantly it has a wide list of recommended sites itself.

Savage Love, Dan Savage’s Blog.  Highly opinionated commentator on sexual situations.  Sort of an Ann Landers with a bite.  His opinion may not be your opinion, but he is usually right on target.

CPS (Coalition for Positive Sexuality)  This is a site aimed particularly for teens with accurate information both in English and Spanish.  Some problems with the site (“What if I’m Gay?” just takes you to the glossary, and the search is just a google search not a search of their site).  But in general it emphasizes education and self respect. Unfortunately this link is no longer active. Nor is the link posted by a Google search. If anyone has info. please pass it on.

Polyamory:  Dos and Don’ts for Polyamorous Relationships.  Polyamory is a very broad subject with many differing definitions, and I believe strongly that any “Dos and Don’ts” are to be defined by YOU, not any authority who says they know.  (Advise, not Direct, but they seem to understand that.)  But this is a broad discussion and a good place to start your research.

Exploring Intimacy is Dr. Ruth Neustifter’s Blog (Dr. Ruthie) and I have a very difficult time not running a bit with the name “Neustifter”.  She is a highly educated woman, though at times her site seems aimed particularly at reviews of toys.

There exists an international community of people whose interests exclusively  surround spanking.  This site emphasizes some people’s need for being spanked with an emphasis on therapy through corporal means.  I need to express my strong opinion, however, that BDSM practices, particularly Sadomasochistic practices are NOT a substitute for professional therapeutic care.

The Sexperts’ Lounge, a series of articles by various authors but primarially “Mistress Maxxters” on a variety of subjects.  Particularly useful is a series on “Sex for Noobs”.

Cherry TV is moving along again now.  It is a relaxed and accepting cam site aimed primarily at women.  A good resource.

Sexix:  What you want it to be.  A wide ranging site with articles informative and humorous.  I first got to it through an informative article by my friend Midori.

Jay Wiseman’s closing argument against Breath Play, a Meticulously researched and scholarly article.  A Must read.

BOOKS and AUTHORS of INTEREST (most of my links are to Amazon because it is easy for me.  It is NOT a specific recommendation to do your shopping through that vendor.)  These books are meant to inform but I repeat my mantra, “There are no rule books“.  Many books will say, this is the way, but there is no way but your way.

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thornes, my first BDSM book.  It is light, full of graphics, informative and amusing. It is how I also met my Whip Master, Robert Dante

Different Loving:  The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission.  It covers a wider variety of subject mater than most and includes the voices and opinions of practitioners.

Secrets of the Sex Masters, Edited by Carl Frankel. Now isn’t that a title that peaks your curiosity? Also a good place to look for other authors you enjoy.

Any book by Jay Wiseman.  A lawyer and a former Emergency Medical Technician, he knows of what he speaks.  Listen. SM 101 is a favorite.

Almost any book by Robert J. Rubel.  I have not read them all. He has written many on Protocols . Dr. Bob, as he is lovingly known by his friends is excellent with Protocols and formal service. He recommends The Butler’s Guide to Runing the Home and Table Manners. If you are strongly into Written instructions as is Dr. Bob, also look for Manual Creation by Machele Kindle (Master Fire).

Almost any book by Jack Rinella

Almost anything by Laura Antoniou, a prolific and emotionally engaging woman of phenominal humor and talent.  A joy to read.  Most are primarily works of fiction but definitely from real life experience.

Books by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton, authors of the famous “Ethical Slut”.

The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren.

Dr. Sprinkle’s Spectacular Sex, a soft, caring, delightful book on expanding your loving from a woman whose experience astounds me.

Opening Up:  A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships.  I tend to be monogamous, but it came highly recommended by someone whose knowledge and experience I trust.

Leading and Supportive Love: The Truth About Dominant and Submissive Relationships by Chris M. Lyon.  A very interesting volumn that takes an expanded view of the D/s relationship and those who choose it. I enjoy their difference in terminology. It is one of the top recommended books by me.

Men’s Work: How to Stop the Violence That Tears Our Lives Apart. by Paul Kivel.  Highly recommended by both myself and Charlie Glickman

A Defence of Masochism by Anita Phillips

Jolted Awake by Richard Levine. “[He] is a licensed psyghotherapist in Los Angeles,,,,He is also a retired Federal Adjudicator as well as a former licenced Science of the Mind practitioner and a former part-time college instructor. First and foremost, however he is by grace in service to his beloved Master” Master Skip Chasey

Be very careful of this one. The CIA Document of Human Manipulation. Concent is not really a part of it.

Sexual Outsiders by David M. Ortmann and Richard A, Sprott


Again, I must state loudly that Bondage causes more deaths and physicall damage than any other form of play we do COMBINED. So please, educate yourself. Know how to test for circulation and be aware of all forms of quick release for suspension. Make sure you do not have to lift the weight of whatever you may have suspended.

I learned many of those skills from my local Fire Department.

Get some good sheers. Remember, the cost of fine rope is not as high as that of a death or severe damage to a loved one caused by your poor knowledge.

There are several good volumns by the Two Knotty Boys

Bondage for Sex by Chanta Rose who should definately know.

I do not know this one but it seemed adequate. Foundations of Rope Bondage:

There are many books on Shibari, suck as Shibari for Beginners, but a hands on class would be best.

And any decent encyclopedia on Knots

This was last edited and added to in April of 2023.  PLEASE, if you have recommendations, send them to [email protected]

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