GON First Edit

This is my first edit of the General Opening Negotiations.

I realize here that this would be a very redundant and extensive list of posts, so I will not continue. However, if anyone wishes to keep up to date, please add a comment or write me at the email posted below.

General Opening Negotiations

            This may seem repetitive and redundant.  I tried to include suggestions that point in all possible directions, but I come from a background of being a CisMale Heterosexual Dominant Daddy type, so I am sure I missed much.  Just because I mention something does NOT mean it is required, but it should be discussed depending on the type of play you are planning.  Any and all suggestions are requested and welcome.  Please send them to me at [email protected].

At all times and from all involved, the best question is, “What do you mean by…?”

My thanks to Melody/duchessbutterfly for early suggestions

General Opening Negotiations

  1. Opening Positions.
    1. You Are Both Equal.  No matter the area, you should express your opinion.
    1. Know and be able to communicate your Needs
    1. Know and be able to communicate your wants
    1. Your Negotiation position is NOT your desired Kink position
  2. What relationship are you looking for?
    1. Authority Exchange
      1. Dom/sub
      1. Master/slave
      1. Top/bottom
      1. Parent/little
      1. Owner/pet
      1. Rigger/bunny
      1. Other
    1. Length of time
      1. Long Term
        1. Monogamous
        1. Multi partner
          1. Outside of Vanilla Relationship (One or both are Vanilla married?)
          1. Polyamory
          1. Ethical Non-Monogamy
          1. Swinging
          1. One to Many
            1. Multi Dom
            1. Multi Sub
          1. Living arrangements
        1. One Time Play
    1. What do you offer?
      1. Abilities
        1. Sports
        1. Decoration
        1. Painting
        1. Etc.
      1. Talents
        1. Cooking
        1. Gardening
        1. Home Maintenance
        1. Etc.
      1. Training
        1. Computer
        1. Secretary
        1. Etc.
  3. Vetting (Goes in BOTH Directions)
    1. Experience
      1. Time involved in the Scene
      1. Clubs involved
      1. Training
      1. People
        1. People you were taught by
        1. Previous Partners
      1. Do you require a Full Featured Checklist?
    1. Personal Information
      1. Real Name
      1. E-mail
      1. Personal Address
      1. Phone Number
  4. What are your limitations
    1. Limitations in types of play behavior
      1. Hard limits
      1. Soft limits
        1. Firm outside of negotiation
        1. Willing to have them pushed?
    1. Limitations in physical abilities
      1. Illness
        1. STI
        1. Temporary
        1. Chronic
        1. Allergies
      1. Injuries
      1. Chronic issues
      1. Changes in the day
      1. Any required forms of Therapy
        1. Physical or otherwise
        1. Contact numbers
          1. Physician
          1. Therapist
        1. Medications
    1. Limitations in Relationship (What authority do you want to give or take?)
    1. Previous Trauma
      1. Physical
      1. Emotional
      1. Relationship related
      1. Particular trigger phrases or behaviors
      1. If occurs
        1. Usual symptoms or behaviors
        1. Most desired response and care
      1. Mental Therapist Contact
  5. Necessities
    1. Where are you playing?
      1. Public
        1. Publicly Observable
        1. Under clothing/Hidden
        1. Kink Event
      1. Private Home
      1. Clothing
        1. Choice
        1. Required
    1. Safety
      1. Training
        1. Physical Equipment
          1. Supports
          1. Heat Regulation
        1. First Aid
          1. Heart Message
          1. Capillary refill test
        1. Fire safety
      1. Safe-words
        1. Stoplight
        1. Unusual
        1. Physical
      1. Equipment
        1. Blanket
        1. Tarp
        1. Fire Extinguisher
        1. Sharps Container
        1. Waterproof pads
        1. Cleanup
          1. Antibacterial Wipes
          1. Soap and sponges
      1. Safe Calls
      1. Emergency Contact
    1. General play type
      1. SM
        1. Areas to avoid
          1. Feet
          1. Face Slapping
        1. Are Marks acceptable
      1. Bondage
      1. Service
      1. Sexual
        1. Areas of touch
        1. Type of touch
        1. Behavior required
        1. Behavior prohibited
      1. Submission
      1. Admiration/Worship
      1. Humiliation
      1. Types of play to avoid
        1. Electro
        1. Fire
        1. Needles
        1. Humiliation
    1. Aftercare
      1. Desire
        1. Do you want it?
        1. Do you want to avoid it?
      1. What is Aftercare to YOU
      1. Warmth
      1. Liquid
      1. Food
  6. Occasion of Play (Should be at least one day post negotiation.)
    1. Location
    1. Time
      1. Time to begin
      1. How long?
    1. Transportation (Do not be required to drive in deep subspace)
    1. Music
    1. Who’s tools and toys?
    1. Closest medical facility
    1. Available medical or safety equipment
      1. Cutters
      1. Med kit
      1. Personnel Trained
    1. Particular requests

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