A wide variety of things are crossing my purview this day. I really enjoy Tumblrotica for its quality erotic photos. There is an offshoot titled Sadistic-Games that has caught my interest for its thoughts and images and one in particular dated November 3 (yea, you have to scroll down, but the trip is worth it) with a lovely photo and these words:
When I open the door and find her waiting just as I instructed…
Pleasure…
Power…
Adrenaline…
and Love…
It struck me particularly because of the final inclusion. I have heard many people in the BDSM lifestyle say that there is no room for love in the BDSM dynamic, they say that level of caring for your submissive partner tends to lessen or possibly destroy the power dynamic or what I prefer to call the exchange of authority.
That is possible, and I have heard from a number of people who concur, but in no way do I accept that it is necessary or sufficient. There is a place in my head which believes that if you truly need that exchange, or activity involving humiliation or extreme sensation, or the variety of role playing possible, and communicate that honestly and clearly to your partner, and your partner accepts that as a desire from someone loved, then engaging in that activity, whatever it may be, is an act of love.
It is so strange to contemplate, and honestly it took me so long to accept that there are people who truly enjoy, get affirmation from, and can be sexually excited by extreme sensations (yes, I mean pain) and the giving of authority over their lives to one they love and respect. But if you understand that, and can accept that, and if you love them, then fulfilling those desires is an act of love.
For me, these people are worth great care and appreciation, for they are those who fit within my desires and pleasures and fulfillment in taking responsibility.
The Eroticist