A Day in Bed

I know most of you are aware of my penchant for Dominant and submissive lovingly violent sex and within that context a day in bed would sound delightful, if possible in these days of financial uncertainty.  But it is not really where I am going today.  Having spent half a day in recovery yesterday, my mind wandered to ways to show care for a partner unwell, before broadening on.

For those who read and explore in areas of Dominance and submission, it is often pictured that the submissive one works diligently at pleasing and making life comfortable for their Dominant partner.  Between caring people whose relationship has been so negotiated, that is as it should be.  But in those hopefully rare occasions when it is the submissive who is incapacitated, it is the Dominant’s obligation to show the care and consideration to his chosen partner(s) that he would wish for himself.

Because it is good to be an example.  Because it is good to learn what it requires of one to serve.  Because it is a differing creativity and broadens your experience.  Because it teaches you about your partner.  Because it teaches your partner(s) about you.  Because it teaches you about yourself.  Because they deserve it.

Because of these and many more reasons, I think the Dominant partner should find a time when they can serve their submissive even if they are completely healthy.  I do not mean becoming a “Switch”, for that has connotations involving sexual and SM play that would require a completely different blog.  I mean finding time when, for no other reason but to do it, give your submissive breakfast in bed, complete with flower and reading mater, if enjoyed.  Perhaps, simply spend an evening reading to them.

If you want a particularly lovely experience, save an evening when you can bathe them, wash their hair, and shave them, if necessary.  Now that is a very sensuous, erotic experience.  (For education on shaving someone other than yourself, look to Dr. Rubel’s book, it has a lovely section on shaving a woman with hints that are just as informative to shaving a man.)

Remember, serving someone else, while it can be, and often is a form of submission, it can also be a service to yourself and that broader whole that serves us all.

The Eroticist


  1. kelly

    …Breathtaking post (I am speechless).

    If there was ever a way to enact a form of revenge specific unto me certainly a lover capable of such facet(s) would be it.


  2. Eva

    That’s really beautiful. If someone were to brush my hair for me, that alone would be kindness enough to bring a tear to my eye. Let alone do anything else? Hope your loved one is very well soon.

  3. mehta halstead


    what a beautifullu written blog about the true meaning of caring and compassion both in and outside of the lifestyle…..your writing is very clear with a distinctive voice that is very appealing to follow…..having been a nurse myself for the last 35 years i especially love reading about someone’s experience of what i did for a living for so long…it becomes who you are……and that is a good thing…service is…of all types….whether it be the submissive sexual slave serving her master/mistress or the Dom servicing his submissive slave by bringing her to orgasm over and over again……yes, indeed… service can be very, very nice when one is in the right hands….or under the right Eroticist’s whip……with great respect, mehta

  4. And at the end of the day, taking care of one’s submissive is just taking care of a partner one loves. It’s about people doing the right thing, because it’s inherently the right thing, regardless of roles.

    Something I heard or read years ago posited that we all have three roles in life, among which we will switch from time to time. Two of them (I forget the 3rd) said that we will all at some point be both parent and child, as we move through the path of life. Sometimes we will be a shoulder for a partner, and sometimes we’ll be the once who needs more care. We don’t lose our fundamental human characteristics and decency just because we put on a cloak of kink roles, or titles like dom or sub.

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