First Meetings

I have been hearing lately from some people who are experiencing some difficulty with first meetings.  Please understand that any recommendation made can go for male or female, Dominant or submissive.  I will honestly say that I was planning an extensive post here, but in checking through my links, truly, it has all been said.  Now you just have to go and read it.

First let me throw some other’s thoughts at you.  Here’s one from the The Sex Reports, a blog that is relatively new to me.  Ambrosio’s BDSM Site is a broad spectrum site with a GREAT deal of intelligent information.  Here is one on meeting on and off line.  Here is another article by Ambrosio, I think, it is difficult to tell from the introduction, but it will get you to Leather and Roses, another truly wonderful broad spectrum BDSM site.

Whew, I have a LOT of out of date links.  So please, anyone who has a favorite link on the subject of safe first meetings between Dominant and submissive, please pass them on and I will make sure they get posted.

Remember, whenever you are meeting someone for the first time, whatever the eventually hoped for relationship, you should expect them to treat you with respect, to make no directives or orders, to be polite, not to make any assumptions as to role or relationship, and to arrive with no expectations for anything other than polite conversation.  A second meeting is up to you.

The Eroticist


  1. vile

    I agree with you 100% , a couple of weeks ago , I posted something similar on the first meeting , also questions a submissive or slave should ask a dominant she is going to meet.
    I think the submissive should pick there safe zone , do not let the dominant make demands on what to wear.I also advised that the submissive should arrive early , if meeting at lets say Denny’s , be seated .
    Thus feeling safe and secure. That is the most important thing safety.
    Thank you for visiting.

    • A very good point. Arrive early and stay late. In other words, park a bit away and arrive early. Stay long enough to know if anyone is following you to your car. I know, at times, words of wisdom such as this makes the whole thing sound incredibly dangerous and the vast majority of times it is not. It is just two people meeting to see if they have something in common. But just as seat belts are wise knowing you probably will NOT be in an accident, certain precautions are wise just because if this is the one time, the consequences can be dreadful.

      The Eroticist

  2. LaValliere

    The last paragraph (of *First Meetings*) should be a broad-spectrum, government issued notice for all would-be peoples considering entertaining dating and/or entering into a relationship. Both respect and being mutually valued is the very foundation in which to move forward.

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