I wanted to talk a bit about myself. You must understand that what I am about to say about myself, to the extent that I can manage at this time of my life, is the truth.
Within the context of the lifestyle, I am very much a Dominant. Now I do not know what that means to you, but to me that means I care deeply about the health and well being of anyone who negotiates and agrees to give me some type of authority over their lives and behavior. I enjoy giving pleasure and self centeredly, I enjoy the attention and admiration of those who appreciate the pleasure I give them. Some call me “set in my ways.” But that is one of the pleasures one gets as a Dominant, people who wish to please you by doing things your way.
I am also a sadist. To me, that means that I study and educate myself in how to apply extreme sensation play to willing partners who enjoy the stimulation that gives them, and specially to those who can easily transform that sensation into erotic excitement. I do this for our mutual enjoyment. I want to know what it does to you, and if my actions carry you to a place where it is unpleasant or you feel it is damaging, I want you to tell me. If mistakes are made, I will definately apologize and do what I can to make things right. But I try to find out what excites my partner, and explore ways to make that excitement greater.
As I have said many times before, I seek a deeply bonded long term relationship with sexually open, highly responsive women who profoundly appreciate what I can do for them.
Now that I have said this, you need to know that I do not want you to believe a word of it.
I am a sadistic Dominant, and all Dominants are manipulators. Just because I said it, and I truly believe that it is true, doesn’t mean it is. Anyone can say it. It is YOUR responsibility to watch, observe, and see if they are consistent in their actions with what they say. People enter into this lifestyle for a VAST number of reasons. I am here because I feel it is a place where levels of bonding between people can be very deep and intense, and that is what I want. But there are others here because they think people are sexually loose and they hope they can get a quick easy fuck without putting in the time to develop a good relationship. Still others are here because they have serious problems forming a relationship, or even have issues with anger towards certain people or possibly men or women as a whole. Others believe that the only way they can feel good, is to make others feel bad.
People do get hurt in this lifestyle and I am not talking about physical injuries. I believe there are less injuries and deaths per capita in the lifestyle than certainly extreme sports or things like football even outside of the profession. But emotional injury is a far different issue. People lie here. Go to any on line BDSM oriented dating or community site (I fear that it is true on any community site, but my experience is here) and there are a large number of people there who portray themselves as someone far different than who they are. Some are just desperately hungry and want what they can’t get in their marriage, so they lie. Some truly wish they were someone other than who they were, more beautiful, handsome, rich, talented, whatever, so they lie. Some don’t think that someone else would truly enjoy what they enjoy, so they lie. Some feel so poorly about themselves that they can not accept that someone else could enjoy their company, so they lie. Some few are truly violent predators, and they lie.
Offline and in person there are also many who wish to portray themselves as something they might wish to be, a highly trained bondage expert, a medical expert or a knowledgeable presenter. I personally have seen presenters who had tied and flogged people and did not watch as they passed out and fell off a stage sustaining a concussion, or a certified Phlebotomist who was so flagrantly unhygienic with the equipment she used that her demo bottom had 15 infected wounds a week after the demo. Or simply public players who pay far more attention to their audience than their partner. And if you hear some rumor that a highly respected and recognized community active Dominant has been accused of abuse, do not toss it out of hand. If it affects you, talk to the accuser and see for yourself what the situation was. Perhaps nothing, perhaps just assumptions gone wrong, but perhaps there is truth there. We sometimes allow truly horrid behavior to go on far too long, simply because it is someone who is respected in the community. We were all so incredibly surprised on hearing about Mr. Sandusky. Need I remind anyone of some few members of the highly respected Catholic Church?
Remember, I can say anything about myself, particularly in text communication. And for another hungry person, even an honest caring one who might be taking those first frightening steps into a world they feel is magic, but oh, so different, it is easy to believe, because they want to so much. Well, Don’t. Don’t believe what you are told. Look to see for yourself. Take the time to see if their actions follow their words. Talk to others in their community and see if they are known and accepted. Talk to people who have had relationships with them. Take baby steps before you dive off the cliff. Be safe, stay happy, for there is, truly a magical world out there for those who want it. It can be mind expandingly wonderful. But it is a world of extremes, and to every extreme, there are two sides.