Dominant’s, Master’s, those people that submissives turn to for instructions, for guidance, for caring direction in their lives, we take on the responsibility for the care of our partners, for their physical and mental health and spiritual growth. We take on this responsibility for the maintenance of our relationship for our own pleasure and the pleasure of our partners and assume this mantle because we know what you should do. We Know What You Should Do.
That is why I was so pleased by seeing this blog by Seth Godin today. If you know him, his aim is usually business oriented, but this definitely rings true for me and my relationships. I linked to the site, but what follows is the blog in its entirety.
I know what you should do
Actually, I don’t.
I know what I would do in this situation, but I’m not you.
I know what your customer should do, but I’m not her.
I know (and you know, and we all know) what we would do in a given situation, but that’s not the same thing.
Empathy requires something extremely difficult: accepting the fact that we are not and never will be in the other person’s shoes. There’s no rational, universal course because individuals have different goals, different worldviews and different experiences.
Empathy is extremely important when directing another. What is good for me is not necessarily good for another, and my pleasure, while important, should never be the primary motivating force. You see, being a Master is really about service.
While many people come into scene life because they are looking for a place where all their needs and desires can be easily met, through long experience I can tell all on the Dominant side of the equation, as much as it pains me to say it, and possibly pains you to hear it, but it is not all about you.
The Eroticist