First of all, hello from TEXAS. The move was far more expensive than I expected, primarily due to my inability to stoically toss things before the move. But the house is slowly coming to order, I am getting to know new people, and finding a place for my lifestyle and art. I wish you all the same.
This came from a text conversation this morning with a delightful young lady with whom I am discussing a relationship. I will attempt to edit it for a more general audience.
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There is still much we do not know about each other. I understand that we brushed against areas this morning in texts that brought you to questioning whether or not I was being SERIOUS. That is a constant problem with texts, particularly short ones like tweets. The inclination is to interpret from ones own fantasy rather than test reality. Remember, “What did you mean by that?” is always a good question. I looked to see if I posted on this rather important subject and could not find it. But that is for another time.
When I say I can go MUCH farther, that is true. I can whip you till you hang bleeding from the cross, till you are unable to speak. I can do many MANY things to make your flesh RAW. I can slap you, yell at you, convince you I am FURIOUS, be one Mean Mother Fucker, and push limits quite firmly. But all of that comes well AFTER we know each other enough to know the long term affects of that kind of play and a level of communication is established that allows me to KNOW that is what you desire. That kind of play, after all, takes a LOT of control, knowledge and observation. In other words, it takes a lot of work. However, all of that falls inside our relationship, and I would work for a state where, even days later, you would wish to hug me tightly and tell me again and again how appreciative you are of your level of joy and contentment and where I was able to take you. Adoration, yep, that feeds me.
Being inside of our relationship also means that I must consider the results of my actions within my chosen constructs. As I have said, your health, both physical and mental comes first, next your family and friends, and third your career. Within those last two is a strange concept, which can best be termed, “Your standing in the community”, meaning what level of “Outing” do you feel comfortable. If you are the kind of person who enjoys wearing a collar and cuffs around in public and pointing to a bruise and telling a stranger how JOYOUSLY you are treated, then there really isn’t an issue. However, if that is not your style, and you wish people to think of you as a normal suburban matron, then having you walk around with obvious bruising on your face or neck, arms or legs where it cannot be covered, no matter HOW far you and I wish to push your limits, will be avoided.
However, that does not mean that if you push MY limits there will not be consequences. In the very broadest sense, obviously, we each have the choice, at any time, to say that this relationship is not for us, and move on. But that, I would hope, would only be considered after extensive conversation. If errors are made, the first question to be asked is, ,were they avoidable, and if so, why did they happen. There are reasons these things happen and life does get in the way, but the question WILL BE ASKED, if the error was IN ANY WAY, a statement of dissatisfaction with the relationship. THAT is serious.
Punishment is usually not an action but a removal. I would HOPE that what is most desired is contact and interaction with me. True punishment, then, is the removal of what is most desired for whatever is an appropriate length of time. But all of that is only appropriate after explanations and discussions. Once done, IT IS DONE, and cuddles, sex and joyous play will resume. I have talked about my
punishment philosophy before.
Now, all of that is NOT to say that a bit of brattish play is not enjoyed. I do enjoy a large bit of repartee and it does add to the joy of play, so we come to FUNishment. “Oh, Daddy, I did something so VERY bad today. I was in the office in a meeting trying SO hard to be professional, but I thought of you and under the table I touched myself. I was SO wet.” “Oh, my naughty girl, you MUST control yourself. What CAN I do to teach you to be BEHAVE?” etc., etc, etc.
Obviously, there is also, “Oh, Sir, is that the best you can do? I am not sure I felt that. Did you actually touch me?” But I do warn you to consider the second paragraph above before you try that. Because I am sure I can eradicate that thought from your head quite quickly.
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So much of what we do, what people should do particularly in sexual situations, is play with each other, assume differing roles to increase the satisfaction of ourselves and our partners. But when playing roles we have to make sure our partners know we are playing roles. That is incredibly difficult in 140 characters or less. Possible with people who know each other very well, but also possibly disastrous with people who do not. Beware! I will speak on this again later.
The Eroticist
