Exxxotica 2015 Part Trois, Lilly

In my first post on Exxxotica 2015 I mentioned the lovely Lilly, a beautiful young masochistic rigger, a possessor of the most astounding breasts and caring heart, who had just lost her Daddy.  First I should say that she has found him again for which I am very glad.  For a strong “little” it is terribly difficult to be without her “Daddy” and I am pleased she is home and happy again.

Lilly, Tied
Lilly, Tied

I first met Lilly back in 2012, I think.  She was running a booth alone and in my wanderings away from the Dungeon I stopped to talk.

Trade fairs are created for businesses and companies to promote and sell their product.  Customers go to these fairs to see what new products are available, to examine them, sometimes handle them, and see if they are attractive.   But in Exxxotica and other fairs like them, much of the “products” are people.  This can create a very different dynamic.

If you are lucky, when a movie is promoted, you have an opportunity to come up to some famous movie star, talk to them, and  come away with a feeling that you have had some small opportunity to actually get to know someone you have seen on the screen.

But the movies and photos here are specifically intended to attract your sexual interest.  And here the human brain can (sometimes?) get confused.  After all, these people are selling themselves as sexual objects.  That is their business. Unfortunately, the buying public can, at times, mistakenly believe that they have some right to, shall we say, pick the product up of the shelf, see how it feels in their hand, take the product out for a test drive.  The professionals, in turn, have to walk that delicate balance between allowing the customer an opportunity to feel that desire they want, but not allowing the customer to take unwanted liberties, a balance of charm and distance.  This is very difficult when you want to convey availability, have a body you want to advertise, wear very sexy clothing, and have hundreds of people through a three day weekend who want your time, your attention, your sexuality, your body, and want it all with absolutely no investment of care or responsibility except for a little cash on hand.

I can tell you, I do not believe that I could accomplish that as a career.  So, I  try very hard to be charming, polite, complementary, and respectful to the vendors at the events.  It is important to me, in order to be the man I wish to be, to treat these people as people.  You will be surprised what can happen.

So, I talked with Lilly about what brought her there, what kind of things she liked, mentioned the dungeon and what we do there, found out she was a little, and an appreciable masochist.  (For those who do not know, in my experience, a masochist is someone who derives benefit from extreme sensation.  It may turn them on sexually, it may quiet their over active brains, or it may just show what they are willing to endure for their loved one.)  Anyway, each time I wandered the floor, I would stop, see how she was doing as far as sales, admire her truly phenomenal breasts, and ask how her feet were holding up.

I saw her again in 2013 as she had a booth that year as well and over the years, we chatted many times on FetLife.  I missed 2014 as I was in the middle of a move, but told her that I hoped to see her at the 2015 Exxxotica.  She said that was not to happen, that she was no longer with her Daddy, and could not afford to get a booth at the event.  Well, I did not think that appropriate, and so began a convoluted series of phone calls and negotiations with many people and organizations to see how it would be possible for her to attend, even if she could not have a booth of her own.  (Expensive things, that.)

I won’t go into the details of all the possibilities missed and hit upon, suffice it to say that she was able to attend the entire three days and work in the Dungeon as (I was surprised to find out) she was quite an accomplished rigger (one who works with rope).  But the greatest honor for me was that she asked if I could substitute as her Daddy for the weekend.

Hmmm, let me think.  What was I to do?  Take on the overwhelming responsibility of giving her hugs, kissing the top of her head, sitting with her when we had a break, encouraging her, watching out for her, being there if there was a problem that I could fix, paddling her ass, flogging her, occasionally squeezing her breasts, and having her give me loving smiles.  Hmmm, yea, I could do that.  Yes, there were some problems that needed fixing, but all in all she was a loving and lovely girl that I was glad to have around.

We did have a talk on the last day about how I had a committed partner at home, that we lived far from each other, and that I did not want to stand in the way of her finding a Daddy that was right and good for her, and thankfully, she understood, has found her Daddy, a relationship that, I hope, will be a long and mutually rewarding one.  She is a good woman, and deserves much.

The Eroticist

Lilly as her little girl
Lilly as her little girl


  1. Thank you for writing this story about Lily. I have seen her for years and finally got to work with her this year. She is wonderful and very kind. You are right about Exxotica products being the people who help to convey the capacity of pleasure, sensually and sexually, to the world as a whole, vanilla or kink.

    Yes, there is a fine line, balance in this business and thank you for reminding your readers and followers that we are people. I have learned a lot from you, honor and respect your work.

    As a Domme, I find myself in amazement of what is possible when one truly gives, respectfully and honestly.

    Just recently, thanks to your wisdom and kindness, encouragement telling me to stay where I was and what I needed to do….I am with someone who is also a Dom, gentle, kind, hardworking and honest after a courtship period of three months. We are taking care of each other and hate to be mistreated.

    He likes my kindness and calls me his Sweet Girl, he’s a Daddy….who would’ve known…

    He knows that I am a Domme and respects by work and Submissive and Slaves. I was recently contacted to help train a stable of slaves….I am considering the offer.

    Thank you for recommending the book that you did for me. It helped me to understand more of my place and my Submissive’s frame of mind better, looking forward to being better educated in the lifestyle.

    Your mind and manners are lovely, consistent and solid.

    There are not enough….I don’t know how many times to say thank you enough for saving a part of my life that was coming into full bloom.

    Domme Lotizan
    July 2015

    Sent from Windows Mail

    • I am honored and overwhelmed by your comment. Lilly is a truly lovely and beautiful girl. I am incredibly pleased that anything I may have said or recommended has opened up new and more fulfilling directions in your life. We often do not know the good we do, the comments we make that do good in the world. It can seem that a comment or small action is just that, easily forgotten, but that small action can, in fact, change someones life. It is nice to keep that in mind. Thank you for reminding me of that.

  2. Thank you and self examination of my development in BDSM is the main point of my blog. I’m just hoping that anyone else that decides to read it sees that transition from Submissive to Domme is not easy, it definitely is not an overnight or a microwave mentality thing. I really don’t like it when some people come into the lifestyle and want to be Dominant, in a finger snap, it doesn’t work like that…and you are not picky. You know what you like and honest about it. My Submissive side does like how you handle things. I still have yet to cover Sept 2005 to the present and taking my time with it, more than 10 years…and yes, editing is a must, great, creative writing is nothing without proper editing.

    I also would like to present multiple points of view of BDSM. I think I need to showcase them a lot better. Your critique is welcomed.

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