This is a follow-up to an earlier post, so do not think I am referring to commands given to someone who has given you authority. Nope. Tiz about Dinner.
Oft it seems that The Book of BDSM says a Dominant must eventually order all meals for those in their charge, this is but one step in “Path to Ownership” where the DOMINANT controls all things submissive: behavior; protocols; dress; meals; bathroom use; career; friends; relationship with family. (Those wise will notice the flags of abuse.) Ok, that was a rant. Probably took it to far.
Now beyond the aspect of turning a person into an animated piece of meat, I am reminded of a college lecture on people who are suffering from a series of failed relationships. If you listen, you might find the first descriptions of their partner to be eerily similar to the early description of their previous relationship and to the beginning description of their next. The problem comes when it becomes obvious that the person they are dealing with is not the fantasy person they are describing.
SOLUTION! Become their Dominant. Then you can make them act exactly the way you fantasize. The trouble is, all of that is coming from you. STOP! (Whew, do I need a rest?)
Look at this person, this being that has the possibility of giving you everything that they are. Did you hear that? Everything that they are. To do that, they need room. Room to be, and room to show you who they are. It is the glorious discovery.
OK, let us wind this whole thing back to Dinner, and ordering. What would happen if you handed HER (OK, yea I am a Cis Het Male. Use the pronouns you want) HER the menu and said, “Order for me.” What is she going to do and what can you learn from it? In a very short and incredibly informative moment you will see how well she knows you. Of course, you can always say, “Thank you, but the shrimp scampi looks really good.” Then, obviously, because she is an intelligent and incredibly loving woman, she asks, “Is that a ‘now’ or an ‘always’?” But think how delightful it would be if she gets it Spot On. When she shows how well she takes care of you. Damn, that is a fine feeling.
See the point is, it is impossible to know her completely, nor is it possible for her to completely know you. We talk about how submission is a gift. Give her the room to show you what that gift could be, the discovery. Let her surprise you. She has gifts you know nothing about. Let her give them. Glorious Discovery.