Disadvantages of Repression

It would be difficult, at this time, to present any cogent argument denying the systematic subjugation of women over the history of this planet.  The sexual interests, fantasies, desires, and activities of women have been demonized, denied, and pathologized.  While this has secured the male a dubious position of “superiority,” I think it important that the modern male understand a little discussed result.

I am sure no one would say that it is impossible for a woman to express to a prospective lover that she is interested.  They are masters of the flirt.  But by creating a world where a woman is immediately labeled with the pejorative aspects of the word “Slut” if she expressed her interest to even a fraction of the level of that expected of any “red blooded American Male” we are cutting off from our experience an incredible pleasure and requiring us to be the exclusive pursuer, initiator.

Well, gentlemen, I wish to tell you that it is a great thrill to be pursued.  To have a woman show us, explicitly, that we are desired, that we are wanted in the most pornographic of ways, should not create in us that level of anxiety which labels her promiscuous, a slattern, or whore.  Show her the respect that understands she is showing this to you.  What an honor.

Remember, as Esther Perel says in her wonderful book “Mating in Captivity“, “Eroticism resides in the ambiguous space between anxiety and fascination.”  Why give that up?

The Eroticist

One comment

  1. Jamila M. Dawson

    Wholehearted agreement! It would be wonderful if men enjoyed a woman flirting with them or even being assertive (not aggressive) about wanting to have sex. Unfortunately, I think that many men still have the madonna/whore complex. Instead of seeing a woman as an individual sharing her desires, many men will seek to put her in the “slut” category and thus a guy might fuck her but he won’t respect her nor is he able to revel in the fact that she is an open sexual being. Guess what guys, she is being selective, she selected YOU.

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