Training a submissive on Line

To be very straight forward, I question the point of on line training.  Certainly, I can give directions, tasks, lessons, and or demand and describe punishments on line.  A submissive can do them, or tell me they have done them, and we can live that way in our fantasies, but in my opinion, fantasy is what it would be.

Even if a submissive religiously follows all my directives, how would that be rewarding to me other than knowing that I am told, and believe, that someone somewhere has followed my directions?

I am a real time, face to face person.  What rewards me is admiration, respect, love, high sexual passion and a profound willingness to do as I direct coming from that respect and admiration.  I want to SEE the changes in your face, hear the expression in your voice, feel your head as you kneel and lay it upon my lap.  I want to feel your lips on my cock and watch you struggle to take it completely down your throat as I push your head down.  Real time, face to…ah, well….

Now, how I would train.  It is a process.  That process begins by talking, getting to know one another as respected and valued human beings.  BOTH of us, respected and valued.  We talk and discuss what it is we want out of this relationship, what it is that excites us, where we want to go in life, what we can offer the other in ALL areas of life, not limited to sexual or D/s in any way.  We see if there are things that excite us about the other and if we feel comfortable.  Do I like the sound of your voice?  Do you touch comfortingly?  Do I feel safe with you?  Do you pay attention?  Do YOU want to structure how you submit or do you accept my Dominance?  Many MANY things come into play here.  And this is just to find out if we get along.

Then, slowly, small item by small item, I would request that you do things.  I might ask you to address me in a particular way, or do some small thing whenever we meet or talk, and I would watch closely to see if you would follow through.  I would tell you what it is I wanted, I would give you the opportunity to ask any question you desire so you are confident you understand, and then I would ask if you would be willing to do what it is I asked.  If so, I would expect it to be done.  If you could not consistently do a small task, there is little point in going forward.

I would watch for respect.  I would watch particularly to see that you asked questions, communicated as openly as possible, and expressed any and all concerns you might have.  Communication is overwhelmingly necessary and if there are problems there, the relationship will struggle until they are solved, or it will end.

Structures and tasks would increase, and I would wish to hear, consistently, what kind of tasks YOU desire, doing what kind of things rewards YOU.  I would need some strong introspection and self understanding.  No matter how honorable, communicative, and trustworthy any two people are, that does not guarantee they are a good match.  This is a period of exploration.

Eventually, if all goes well, and we both wish it, I would ask if you desire and are ready for some level of commitment.  We will then discuss IN DETAIL what that commitment means, what it comprises, and what it requires of each of us.

Does this sound like training?  All I have asked is a limited number of small tasks.  Yet I have spent the entire time doing my best to get to know you, and showing you in detail who I am, what is important to me.  You are under no obligation.  You may leave at any time, and if you feel any discomfort, I wish you would.  There is little point in denying your desires and needs because you want something you do not have.

Is this possible on line?  I do not believe that beyond a fantasy level, I can get the kinds of rewards I need from a relationship that is not face to face.  I can teach.  I can express my opinion, as I do here.  But training is a mutually rewarding experience.  It should be profoundly supportive and confirming to both parties.  For me, and I repeat that, for me, attempting that purely through textual messaging, is not possible.

The Eroticist


  1. LaValliere

    I fully agree with your observations and support your position on this matter.

    If only (we, of this world) could just come to find true love and deep companionship in it all, regardless of the concession-in-relegation of it being virtual or ideally as close as your lover’s warm contented sigh felt over your own skin.

  2. Trouble

    I concur fully. As a submissive face to face is a must. I need to know that what I did pleased the person I did it for. I need the little facial nuances that you get when a job is well done. I need that because it is encouragement that allows me to continue on a difficult task. Online doesn’t give me any of that, it is cold and impersonal. I need the warmth and the communication, both verbal and nonverbal.


  3. Elifisa

    I have been in an online M/s relationship for four months now. It’s difficult. Right now as I’m writing this I’d give a lot to feel His hands on me or to be able to actually kneel before Him. Had I imagined this would happen – becoming property of someone who is thousands of miles away – I might have thought twice. The point is, it happened. And as it is, I DO feel respect, admiration, love and the need to please Him and I try to let Him know it whenever possible. Though touching is out of question, seeing and hearing IS possible. You learn to appreciate simple things. As for training.. Trust is absolutely necessary. And I can’t speak for Master, but I believe I’m getting better at predicting His needs and I know conditioning used on me is working, and I love becoming someone He wants me to be. And again, there is no point in hiding that. I’m sick of people saying this relationship is impossible online. It is different for everyone, just like you imply. One can be detached during face to face dates, for us writing and talking on webcam is as real as it can feel. Because we believe it is. What we don’t believe is that such communication is possible without being sure we’ll meet and be together in “real life” too. And I accept the possibility we might not like each other when we meet, but that’s how it works – you invest, spend time being together and hope for the best. Just like in any other relationship. You take a risk.

  4. Lon

    I think you foks mised what was asked, Master Arach said training a submissive, nothing about a LDR.., but any way, my question is what do yoiu want to train the submissive>??? to roll over, play dead, not to sound sarcastic, but, how can one train a submissive to be a submissive if this is what the training is, Master Arch and I go wayyyyy back….

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