Behind Closed Doors – 2012 (2)

Sunday began with some nerves as it was my time for a presentation “Sexualizing Your Scene”.  I mean what do you do with that.  Isn’t sex the point?  In many cases, no.  Some people enjoy extensive forms of Sadomasochistic play, humiliation play, service or entire relationships which do not involve sexual engagement on any level.

However, that is not me.

I believe one of the most powerful human dynamics is the interaction between two or more sexually attracted human beings and that subsequent dance of attraction.  I have spoken previously about the possibilities of orgasm control, valentine gifts, Love in a BDSM Relationship, secrets shared, a loving poker chip, the care of the throat, and a kiss.  But I have never before had to discuss how to put sex into a scene.  It was daunting, but strangely came out quite easily as a casual conversation.  While I do not intend to give my hour and a half discussion here, let me simply say, observe, listen, move slowly, reflect, respect and have faith.  It will happen to a far greater extent than you thought possible.  Be sensitive to what is happening in your partner, do not fear to take control, understand they want what you can do for them.

The second presentation I attended on Sunday was “Living Real and Authentic Lives:  The Key to Our Happiness” by Master Taino.  His presentation paralleled the following one I attended, from Ms. Diana, who I call my Mater Familia as she was the first person I spoke with when I chose to enter into the BDSM Community so many years ago.  She has been a caring friend and mentor since that day.

The best way to describe their thoughts is with the word acceptance, particularly acceptance of yourself, but of the broader community as well.  We all have been raised within an atmosphere created and controlled by people of a previous generation.  Some luck few were raised to accept the diversity of humans as a whole and accept the uniqueness of ourselves.  These few were allowed to choose a path in life that fit who we were as new and unique human beings.

But I think it only takes a casual observation of the society in which we live to see that many, if not most people who surround us have very strong feelings about how one ought to live that does not allow for others to form their lives the way that is most comfortable to who they are.  I would even venture to say that many people feel they are not allowed to live their own lives the way that is most comfortable to who they are.

Master Taino as well as Ms. Diana spoke strongly on accepting who you are, and living a life true to yourself.  Master Taino echoed those thoughts and went on in his closing address to say that our community, indeed all communities will have a far better chance of survival if they accept the wide range of choices available to the human animal, and realize that just as we have a right and responsibility to live true to ourselves, so do others, male, female, gay, straight, sis- or trans-gendered, and these other’s life choices rarely, if ever, truly threaten our own.  Knowing and accepting the diversity of possibilities only broaden’s our world view.  It does not force those choices onto us.

It was a good weekend.  The only shame was that for each presentation I saw there were two that I missed.

OH, I forgot to mention TOYS.  I was able to broaden my electrical range by getting a deal on an Electro Pleasure Probe (yes it is insertable) and a very interesting Hitachi like vibrator with two circular metal bands around the head that can be electrified.  Interesting.  Any volunteers?

As an aside, I would like to encourage comments from my readers.  Though I do know you are out there, I also enjoy a dialog and dislike the feeling that I am talking into a void.

The Eroticist

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