I have just returned from an excellent weekend in Tucson at Behind Closed Doors – Mutation, run by the Baja Arizona Leather organization and run and created by the phenomenal Jefferson James and his good lady Lois, both of whom did a Phenominal job this weekend involving a great deal of work, both physical and negotiational.
The drive was…tiring. Timing was difficult coming from Santa Barbara as no matter what you do, you hit either Los Angeles or Phoenix at rush hour, sometimes both. I left Thursday presuming that there would be things I did not wish to miss on Friday, only to find that the first event was the cigar social in the evening. But it was nice to have the day to relax and spend time considering my presentation, “Sexualizing Your Scene.” A subject dear to my heart, as well as other……ah…..well, anyway.
The Cigar Social was delightful, I was able to meet many new people. Sometime you should ask me about ashing or cigar play. I do not smoke much any more, and when I do, I like to take full advantage.
Saturday started with a Discussion by Master Todd and his slave elisabeth on “Myths, Rumors and Realities: WTF is a 24/7 M/s Dynamic”. I had not met these people previously and was impressed by their intelligence, information and humor. There was a lot of requested audience participation, which I enjoy, but I have to admit that part of my enjoyment came from my agreement with their philosophy.
Some important points were that each partner must come to the negotiations from a place of power. If you do not feel you have any personal power, how can you negotiate its exchange. Conversely, why would you want to give your power to someone who had none of their own.
We talked about how the roles of Bottom, Submissive, and slave, as well as Top, Dominant, and Master are not steps in a progression. While you may experience each of those roles, each are unique to themselves and one is not “Less” or “More” advanced than another.
Internal enslavement was discussed as well as the possibility of Love in a M/s relationship and the responsibility of a slaves mistakes belonging to the Master.
I know I am giving short shrift to much of this, but I went to five different classes as well as giving one of my own, and there may be other things to mention as well. Did I mention Toys?
In the late morning was Jefferson James and “Forced Sex Role-Play (FSRP)” Yes, the word is “Rape” but the emphasis is on Role Playing. This means we will do our best to make it seem real while at the same time it is Not. There was a lot of show and tell as far as toys and tools, gags, and script. But the most significant statement for me involved negotiation. “I will not do anything outside of our negotiated limits, but that does not mean I won’t say I will and do my best to convince you that I will.” When we are dealing with play that purposely engenders fear, there are some tricky distinctions.
After a lunch which had drama of its own came a presentation by Michael Sol, capped rope gentleman on “Erotic Rope: Connecting with your Bottom.” While I had come to this presentation because I had an important friend who had a great interest in rope bondage and wanted to learn more about this very broad field and while I felt that connecting with my partner was a very high priority, I did not expect the intensity and spirituality of Master Sol’s presentation. There were many moments when I caught my breath and fought back tears.
It began with a moment that absolutely emphasized my own interests. Master Sol brought out a beautiful young girl who removed her clothing to display a rather simple rope dress. Master Sol then slipped another rope underneath the rope crossed at her belly and asked everyone to be as quiet as possible so they could listen. He then began to move dance like around his subject and slowly run the rope back and forth under the dress. The quiet swoosh of the ropes passing over each other soon became mixed with the change in breathing of his subject, then her increasing sounds of arousal. True music. An erotic commitment.
One new understanding for me came from the description of a tie. For those in the know far more than I, they will understand that a tie is a particular form of rope arrangement for purpose or decoration. Yet, the issue came from different people coming forward with different depictions of this one tie. Which one was the correct form for this tie? What brought me to a new understanding of rope bondage was that the tie depended not on the lacing and knotting of the rope, but on the bodily structure of the subject tied. In other words, each depiction was correct because it was on a different person. I have reached a far greater appreciation of the art of rope bondage and will take more time with learning it.
There was another play party that evening, but again I did not attend as I was partner-less and tired and had a lot to do the next day.
So endith Saturday.
The Eroticist