I will be describing a form of rope bondage here, but text is a bit awkward for that purpose and I will not include massive numbers of photos or video as that is not the purpose of this post, so I will begin with a strong caveat. Bondage is by far the most dangerous activity in which we engage. More accidents, damage and deaths have occurred through the uneducated use of bondage than any other activity usually put under the label of BDSM. Self or Solo bondage only increases the possibility of injury ten fold. Do not attempt any form of bondage without taking the time to educate yourself. It is also my opinion that one should not undertake self or solo bondage at any time.
Now as that is out of the way, let me move towards the point. It is my opinion that one of the main attractions to being bound is the removal of responsibility. Things can happen to one against ones will. Therefore they are not responsible. There is a sliding scale here between openly negotiated and extensively discussed limits of what can and can not be done between people who share a deep sense of trust on one end, and totally non consensual abduction and torture to fatality on the other. Obviously, and without question, I am a proponent of the former method. It is the concept of, the mental toying with and contemplation of the latter that can add an interesting voluntary fear factor which is…interesting.
But again, this is not the exact point of this blog.
Understanding the reasonable fear elements that can be present in someone who is possibly new to bondage, let me now explain one example of enjoyable play. (Again, this post is not a worthy demonstration or tutorial on a specific method, so do not take it as such.) Take a rope of reasonable length and adequate width. Form a bite or loop in the middle. Wrap the ends around your willing partner’s wrists and feed them through the bite. Depending on the width of rope, perhaps wrap the ends again. Now, pass the ends of the rope through or around some firm and stationary post or ring. Do not tie them, do not attach them, simply take the ends of the rope and hand them back to your willing partner. As long as they hold on to the ends, they are bound.
Here is the magic, and the point of this blog. For what we do, in my mind, should be primarily a manipulation of the mind. Just as the bondage can be thought of as a toying with that fear of non consensual torture and death, here we are dealing with, at a most basic level, what it mean to exchange power. You have given control of the situation to your partner. All they have to do is let go of the rope and they are no longer bound. The rope passes freely around the post or through the ring and they are free. Simple. But if they choose to hold on to the rope, if they choose to be bound, they do so because they choose to be vulnerable to you, they choose to toy with the fear, to give themselves to your will, your wishes, your choice, your authority.
Now THAT, for me, is very heady stuff. It is the stuff that feeds me.