I want to be NORMAL
With every fiber of my being, I wanted to be normal. I wanted to be accepted. I wanted to be OK. I wanted people to look at me and know me and smile and wave and think, there goes a good guy. I wanted to live a life that is …
Infidelity and “Forbidden Sex”
This post comes from a discussion currently going on in a LinkedIn group to which I belong, Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality — SSSS. Yes, even considering my previous post, I do still read it. It began as a debate over a Psych Today article as to whether …
Pain and Pleasure for Someone New
As many posts here have originated, this comes from a question I received on FetLife. I was asked to comment on pain by a woman seeking to find a deeper connection between eroticism and more severe forms of sensation. I am not sure what I can say that will be …
I Take Offense
I am a member of a LinkedIn group titled “Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality — SSSS.” Within that group there is currently a discussion on a recently linked and extensively footnoted article, “Sexual Abuse: A Major Cause Of Homosexuality?” It is difficult for me to begin to express …
A “Serious” Subject
I have been thinking recently about the seriousness of the activities we do. Being a Sadist, I engage in activities which should definitely be taken seriously. I purposely cause severe levels of sensation to people who are often bound in such a way as to be effectively helpless, and often do not …
Communication
Most people here know I tend to emphasize communication as a beneficial art form. While I do tend to feel that it is valuable in ALL relationships, I think that it is a requirement in a D/s or M/s relationship. It is important that there is an understanding of significant words. What …
Negotiations
This post comes from a question on FetLife, as many of my blogs do, if you care to explore. The question was basically what should a submissive be able to communicate during negotiations? I am a Dominant sadistic Daddy type. I think that should be stated first. Those readers here …
How can we help?
I am often asked to talk about the differences between the Kink community and what we euphemistically call the Vanilla world. Obviously there are the behavioral differences, the clubs we attend where we engage in semi-public BDSM play, the dress, the ubiquitous black leather, the use of toys, the play with pain …
As you wish
In this age of internet communication and social media, in this time when relationships are easily begun and just as easily blocked, when personalities are presented as things other than what they are, one can spend a long time hunting for someone that matches what they desire. Every day I …
Languages, Listening, Learning and Love
Happy Valentine’s Day. Many years back, before my children were born, I was blessed with a long term acting job as a Kiwi. No, not the fruit, a New Zealander. While I was quite familiar with many forms of British and Australian accents, both upper and lower class, a Kiwi was new …