Be
I am in a stage of my life where I am required to redefine who I am. Who I am, what I do, where and with whom I live must change. At this time, I am reminded of an old Zen story about a man who continually changed what he …
Every Moment, a Quantum of Joy
It happens over and over, every day. Something crosses our path that gives us just that tiny lift, a quantum of Joy. It can be anything. Traditional things, like a quick image of beauty, a smell that evokes, the music of a laugh. Sometime it is something unusual, the flight …
Begin Together or Find Someone Experienced?
A friend told me that they had begun a new relationship with someone who had interest in the lifestyle, but little experience, much like themselves. They asked me if it was better to begin a lifestyle relationship with someone as new as them, or someone more experienced. This was my …
Cum on, Women 3, Men 4?
In an article I read yesterday one of the reported misconceptions about men and women was the following: “4. Women have far fewer orgasms than men do.“ Well yes, I knew that was wrong. “…In a study published in the book “Families as They Really Are,” (W.W. Norton and Co., 2009), …
Penthouse, please
I have often mention Reid Mihalko‘s Safe Sex Elevator Speech. This video out now explains it rather well, being done by Reid himself. It was a difficult step to get to for me. What he suggests is that you should, when you find someone that attracts you, go right up …
The Dominant’s Untold Secret
Most of you know my feelings about Dominance and submission and how it is an element in every romantic and sexual relationship, no matter how “vanilla” it might be. I allude to it here and here, perhaps other places as well. Well, if you are considering a more formalized D/s relationship, …
Through a Glass, Darkly
Today I was tweet refered to a superb post by Renee Randazzo (Unfortunately, no longer found). While the context was primarily from a female Feminist point of view I found the words strongly echo within me. “Me and my sexuality have had a tumultuous relationship. I have been paralyzed by shame for …
A Day in Bed
I know most of you are aware of my penchant for Dominant and submissive lovingly violent sex and within that context a day in bed would sound delightful, if possible in these days of financial uncertainty. But it is not really where I am going today. Having spent half a day …
Competency, and what we choose to be
I loved Seth Goden’s blog of yesterday (Link goes to his blog, but not the one I meant). Though he speaks most in channels of business and career, I think these thoughts translate to a far wider realm. Which are you? …competent, inspiring, passionate, obsessed, provocative, impatient, hungry, driven, adoring, …
It is always there
There is so much debate in kink circles about cause and effect, origins, if what we do is learned or caused or a reaction to. I do not really have answers, and do not mean to position myself as one who does. But this I know. Once someone has discovered, …